Poisonous Apple and A Stupid Ape
by MiDnIgHt525
Summary: Mike's sick of being refused by Bella. He never thought that he could have a single date with Bella...until a certain vampire named Emmet pulls a prank.. Now Bella is on a date with Mike, and Mike is in Lala land..It's up to the Cullens to save Bella
1. A DATE!

Mike POV

Mike POV

Today would be the most victorious day of my life, for I would take Bella away from Cullen! I had it all planed out, nice and specific. Ha ha ha ha!! She would dump that Cullen!! I mean, I have the looks, the brains(well not as good as Cullen but still good), and the brawns! Jessica even fell for me!!

I decided to go early today since Bella and Cullen were usually one of then earliest people to come. I took my ultra cool Surban and ran out the door. I thought of where we could go for the date. A restaurant in Port Angles(maybe Chucky Cheese)(A/N sorry, I was thinking of the most childish place I could think of), a quick trip to he park, then my house... Then we could have some cozy time.

I noticed that the car I parked next to was a Volvo. Inside I saw Bella in Cullen' jacket laughing, and his hand around her waist. She frequently pecked his cheek and mouthed "I love you" Argh!! It should be ME she was laughing with, MY hand around her waist, MY cheek she's pecking at, ME she mouths "I love you" to!! I then dreamed about caressing Bella and kissing her soft...

HOLY CRAP!! Edward Cullen just kissed Bella! Not just a simple "I love you kiss" but a "I want you, I need you, you're mine" kiss! And, did he just smirk at me? I bet he pays her. 100 on a date, 200 to eat with him, and 500 to kiss him. That maniac. At that moment, Bella and Cullen came out of the Volvo, Bella still blushing. What a beautiful color...

"Hey, Bella!! I need to talk to you. Alone."

Bella lowered her eyebrows, and Cullen just tightened his grip on her waist. Over cautious, or as I might say _freedom killer_. Cullen narrowed his eyes, as if he could read my mine. AS IF!

"It won't be long, just something I want to ask you."

Bella finally pulled away from his grip and went up stairs with me to the library. Bella literally fell into her chair. I think it was because she fell over her feet, again. Cute. She then chewed on a strand of her hair. Luscious.

"So what is it you want to tell me. You can tell me, we're friends."

FRIENDS... Well that would change from today. Bella would now be MY angel, girlfriend, fiancé, wife...But how to say it?? "Babe. You're hot. Date ,me?" Ewwwwwww... I knew that Bella wouldn't like it.. She was the 'romantic style.' It also was so not me. "You're like the sun in my sky,my water, my air.. I need you." Too poetic...not my thing. I KNEW that I should have googled proposes! "I will be yours forever on. Be mine?" Now I was getting somewhere!! "Bella I like you. No I love you! Will you be mine?" Perfect!!

After taking a few private big breaths I started. I cornered her and soon our faces were very, very close.

"Bella I like you. No I lo..."

That's when Cullen's annoying sister Alice barged in!!

"Bellaaaaaaa!! Eeeeeemergencyyyyyyyyy!!" she screeched.

Annoying, annoying, annoying! She just ruined my most perfect moment to make Bella as mine!! Argh! Bella smiled sheepishly and just said

"Gotta go! Sorry! You can tell me later. Bye!"

She first ran out the library. My angel, gone...

"Michel, if I were you, I wouldn't mess with my brother. She only needs him. Mess with him one more time and I don't think you're future would look very good. Bloody messy."

Snarling she turned around and skipped her way to Bella. Whoa. Scary. How did she even know what I was going to say? Creepy. Like she could see the future and Edward could read mines. Also the Cullens would be vampires and there were werewolves in Forks. Ha ha, yeah right. I should stop watching horror movies before I ask Bella to date me...

BPOV(from when Mike is cornering her)

Why is he cornering me like that?? This doesn't seem good...Like you? Did he just say I like you? Edward help!! That moment Alice came in.

Bellaaaaaaa!! Eeeeeemergencyyyyyyyyy!!"

MY saver!! I took this as my chance to get away and said

"Gotta go! Sorry! You can tell me later. Bye!"

But the thing is that I don't really want to see him for a long time. While I ran out the doors I crashed into something cold and hard. Edward's arms. I cuddled inside and said,

"I thought you couldn't read my mind?"

Edward looked at m face confused.

"I can't" Huh?? Now it was my turn to be confused.

"Isn't that why you sent Alice to save me? 'cause I thought 'Edward help"?"

"No, I heard what Mike was thinking to tell you, and Alice saw that he was going to ask you on a date, so I thought you'd need help."

I hugged him tightly and said "Thank you life saver Eddie." I felt him stiffen. Oops...

"My pleasure, but love, please didn't call me Eddie."

" 'kay... Sorry..."

"It's alright, love" I just cuddled closer into his chest.

EPOV

I wanted to kill that Newton kid! I couldn't though knowing that it would upset Bella. But if she just knew what he thought about her! Idiotic, dirty kid. He was the reason I let Bella cross the line in the car. I felt a bit ashamed that I used her and threatened her life. But later it was just for my pleasure. Her silky brown hair, soft warm skin, luscious smell.. If she just knew that I didn't want to wait for the wedding either... I chuckled knowing that she would soon be mine forever.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing love, lets go to our classroom."

"You know, if you don't tell me, I'll just assume it as something worse."

"I'm just happy that you're going to be mine soon."

"Getting possessive are we? Well I'm glad too..." She cuddled as close as she could as her aroma filled my head. Mouth watering.

"Lets just get to class, love. Please??" I used my eyes which she called 'dazzling' to persuade her.."

" 'kay" She blushed slightly and kissed me on the forehead.

Even if I said that I would go of her when she wanted to leave, how could I loose someone so loving, so caring, so beautiful... But as Bella said, I should focus on now. I would never lose Bella to Newton. Never... For the best of Bella. Like always and forever...

EmPOV

Ahahahahaha!! That Newton kid tried to ask Bella out!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! Ouch!! Damn that Edward Cullen! Why is he throwing the food on his tray at me!! Awwww man!! I forgot he was listening. WELL HE IS JUST A NOSY NO GOOD BROTHER!! Yes and I meant for you to hear it Edward.

"Hey Bella so what did you think about Newton's request. Good thing Eddie didn't rip his throat out, eh?" Bella blushed.

"Why don't I just go to him, and tell him what you think of him…About that date request too!"

EDDIE started growling at me.. Well, I'm not afraid of him!

"You're not afraid of anything because you're so dense," muttered my little brother.

'AM NOT!' I replied through my head.

I decided as a bit of revenge to really act like a messenger for Bella… I would just… change her option a bit… As I quietly walked out counting the Korean letters backward, I headed for the door. I hear Edward snarling and getting up with Bella behind him. Knowing that I had little time, I flew out the door. I followed the trail where Mike's smell was strong when I saw Edward was close behind. CRAP!

I decided to play a little prank on my Eddie too when I just past a group of sassy girls. I cried in my best girl voice, "It's Edward Cullen!" The air was tense, then suddenly the group of girls were surrounding a very surprised Edward and a annoyed Bella. I took this as my chance and found Mike. I was in front of him in the blink of an eye. When he saw me, his face went white, he dropped his books, and I think I heard his heart go fast.

I wonder why humans are always afraid of me. Stupid humans, is an innocent, humorous, vampire that scary? Maybe...

"Hey...Mike. I heard you're little propose to Bella. Not as easy as you thought, huh?"

"uh...ummm...n-no. I'm s-sorry. Ple-please don't hu-hurt mm-me..."

"HA! Why would I hurt you?"

"Ummm, no reason. Then why did you t-talk to me?"Now I like how this talk is going.

"I just am a messenger for Bella. She wants me to tell you her answer about your 'date'."

"REALLY?!"

Hmmm... That Newton kid is really starting to piss me off…. He just screamed in front of my face. He's not very bright too, I didn't really believe that he would fall for it!

"Yup. She said yes. She wants you to pick her up at 7 o' clock at her house."

The Newton kid is practically shaking in enthusiasm and excitement!! He looks like Alice when she is allowed to give Bella a make over. She practically jumped out the roof!! He turned to his homeroom and dashed away, probably planning his 'date' or bragging.

That moment a very pissed Edward came with a flushed Bella.

"EMMET! YOU IDIOT!WHY DID YOU LIE! DO YOU LITTERAILY WANT BELLA TO DIE OUT OF IRRITATION?! AND DON'T SAY IT WAS JOKE OR AN ACCIDENT! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LIEING YOU (A/N I don't like swear words so I just symbolized them with )

Whoa, he took it harder than I thought.


	2. UPDATE AN

A/N

Hey!! First of all, I'm just soooooo sorry that I couldn't update. I got a major writers block, but don't worry! I'm finished with my next chapter. I think I'm going to update about tomorrow or the day after that. Probably tomorrow.

I know that you all hate A/Ns. I know I do. SOOOOOO I'll shut up for now. LOL

Bye!

GREAT thanks to , xxedwardcullenloverxx, Blue-eyedBlondie, CoraCullen22, Shinobi Shinigami,10-shooting-5-star-91, mysterious-bluerose

: It's good to know that you like it. AND as I said, I'll update about tomorrow.

xxedwardcullenloverxx

: ummmm.. Didn't know you liked Mike….?

Blue-eyedBlondie

: Thanks!!

CoraCullen22

: I sooooo agree with you!! NOBODY can compete with Edward Cullen! He's like a…GOD!!

Shinobi Shinigami

: I was… planning on more Eddie names… hehe… I'll try to put up more fluff then!

10-shooting-5-star-91

: THANKS THANKS GREAT THANKS!! LMAO

mysterious-bluerose

: Thanks for the compliment!


	3. Makeover

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I'm so sorry that I couldn't update. Not only was I so overwhelmed with school and homework, I also had MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK.

But lets think optimistically!

I still updated.

...Right....??

Oh, who am I kidding.. I'm so sorry!!

Anyways, what are you waiting for? Go read the story!! LOL

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Bella POV

I was in Alice's dressing room which was probably bigger than my bedroom. She was rummaging through some of her clothes saying that I needed something special to wear. I actually didn't care. I bet Mike wouldn't notice if I'd only wore a garbage bag. While I sulking behind some coats, Alice suddenly poked her head in.

"OMG! I've found the perfect outfit for this occasion!"

Her high soprano voice was actually one octave higher. Was that even possible? I stepped out in front of the clothes Alice set out for me which were hanged up. She picked out a cherry pink, silk, halter dress that went a little over my knees. Though I liked how the neck part crossed it was jus not me. It showed too much.........skin. Under the dress was a pair of gold pumps that sparkled in the light. It actually reminded me a lot about Edward. I didn't see him for the last 3 hours after Alice had dragged me away. Alice suddenly appeared in front of me almost visibly vibrating.

"What do you think? Don't answer, that was a rhetorical question."

Before giving me the time to say anything, she pushed me toward a jewelry case. Inside were thousands and thousands of jewelry from Dior, Channel, Gucci, and D&G. Then she took out a gold bangle with crystals and a matching pair of gold crystal earrings. The earrings were ring-shaped and both the inside and outside were studded with clear crystals.

"Beautiful..."

Damn it... Before I knew it, I word of complement came out of my mouth.

"I..I mean that it's okay... But it seems to look a bit expensive."

Alice just grinned before taking out a metallic, leather, gold clutch. Then she pushed me back to her dressing room with the clothes before I remembered one humongous fact. I was going on a date (blegh!) with Mike. I kept on thinking that I was going out with Edward.. What a huge mistake!

"no,No,NO!!"

I jumped away from Alice backing against the door ready to run. I would surely not wear a dress that showed this much skin! Think of me wearing these pumps and tripping the whole day! Edward wouldn't even be there to catch me when I fall! (A/N I just got this really comically thought about Mike _trying_ to catch Bella when she fell. But it wouldn't turn out well. I mean Mike is no Edward Cullen. LOL) NO, NO WAY!

I jumped away from Alice backing against the door ready to run. I would surely not wear a dress that showed this much skin! Think of me wearing these pumps and tripping the whole day! NO, NO WAY!

Alice gave full force on me with her puppy eyes.

"Why? They're beautiful! You said it yourself!"

"I am so not wearing this in front of Mike! He'll think I made an effort and make a mistake that I like him! Anyway, it's not even a party! I don't need any kind of luxurious clothes or jewelry."

"For me-"

"No!"

Alice jutted her lower lip and walked away. I felt very, very bad… However I would not change my option. Anyways, Alice would bring another outfit in just a few seconds. She was Alice. Right on Q, Alice flew past me with a pile of clothes, shoes, and jewelry in her hands.

"Alice! Remember, no party clothes!"

She then stood in front of me with an Emmett-ish grin on her face. She held out two pieces of cloth which-surprisingly- I actually liked! For the top she held out a short trench coat that was fit for just a shirt. It a very dark black color with a little navy in it. She also held out a grey plaid mini-skirt that came above my knees. Though I arched my eyebrow I kept going on.

"Do you like it? What do you think? Huh?"

Alice, again, was exited and vibrating. I sighed and smiled. What else could I do? For the sake of the safety of Earth, and me I told her I liked it. It wasn't actually a lie though. I just didn't like the fact that this shirt would be 3 times expensive than my favorite pair of jeans.

After squealing, Alice showed the rest of the things she brought. A pair of earrings, tall boots, and clutch. The earrings seemed too expensive so I refused at first. After 10 minutes or so of fighting and persuading, I was stuck in wearing them. They were beautiful of course, though they were shaped unique. They were spiral like, with all the circles inside the circles. It was studded with blue and transparent crystals. It actually matched with me well, and I had a feeling that Edward would like it too. The shoes weren't that bad too. I liked the fact that there weren't any heels. Gosh, that made a big difference. They were tall pull on slouch boots with small wrinkles and were a greenish black. Alice gave me smile when she saw me at aw looking at the shoes.

"They're beautiful, don't you think? I got them made especially in Milan for this kind of occasion."

Wow. I never thought that a simple sentence could change my whole opinion. I immediately moved one step away. Last but not least I saw the clutch which Alice seemed to admire by the way she looked at it. It was turquoise and made out of soft leather and felt. It was shaped like a big bow and was opened with a gold zipper on top.

"Don't you love it? It was specially made by Gucci after I met one of their special designers. Admit it, they love me! Anyways, they gave me the chance to design my own bag. So know you see the bag coordinated by moi!"

Not knowing what to say, I just stood their gapping. I mean who could replay to that kind of explanation? After about 5 minutes Alice got annoyed and pushed me to the bathroom to dress up. It took a lot of time since I kept on tripping over my FRIKIN' BOOTS! About 1hour and 30 minutes later, my make up and hair was finished. I actually didn't really know who' the girl in the mirror was but she sure looked pretty. Her make up was smoky which brought out her chocolate eyes. Her hair was curled casually but still seemed to hug her face.

"Wow..."

"I know! This may be one of my best piece of work!"

Alice jumped up and down. Taking my hand and leading me, she walked me down the stairs. There could see my angel, smiling and waiting for me. I grinned to and walked into his arms.

"You look alluring."

"Hmmm..."

I was too busy in savoring his sweet scent to notice what he was saying. Edward laughed and pulled me away to take a better look at me. He whispered,

"I like your earrings.....they shall go well with your new necklace."

"Hmm I know. I....- WHAT? A new necklace? I don't have a new necklace."

Edward-with a smirk on his face- moved behind me and took out a beautiful necklace. It was a styled crown like with dangling crystals, clear and shining. Though I wasn't a fan of jewelry or expensive objects, it was just too beautiful to resist.

Edward slowly brought the necklace to my neck and locked it around. I could see it shining above my chest. It was just so beautiful. I turned around and hugged Edward as tight as I could. He chuckled and whispered in my ear,

"I thought you'd need it for luck. You'll need a lot to survive a date with Newton. But don't worry. We'll be your.....godmothers and godfathers today.."

"What do you mean godmothers-"

I wasn't even able to finish my sentence for Emmett yelled,

"Bella!"

He held me high above the sky laughing. However, me being afraid of heights, screamed. Loud.

"Put me down! I SAID PUT ME DOWN!!!"

Edward punched Emmett in the arm and took me down. I stood up and walked to Emmett.

"You're lucky that I won't kill you when I become a vampire."

I was surprised with myself. I never knew that I could growl. And I wasn't always this violent. As I walked away, Emmett felt the need to trip me, and I would have fallen flat on my face if it weren't for Edward. I went out the door, to Edward's Volvo, before saying,

"Scratch that. When I become a vampire, you're going to die a merciless death."

I heard Emmett's booming laugh before I slammed the door close.

Why did I feel that today would be a long day?

I was in the car waiting when Edward slid inside. Then he took hold on my face.

"Bella"

I could feel his cool breath on my face.

"Bella, listen to me carefully."

"Hmmm.."

His scent tickled my nose.

"I don't trust you alone with Mike."

I just mumbled,

"I know"

"I also hate Mike for even having the chance to have a date with you."

"Yeah…."

I was to obsessed in tracing his face to really pay attention to what he said.

"That's why we're going to follow you around and give him a piece of my mind.."

My attention went to what Edward said after he said 'we're' and 'piece of my mind.'

"What do you mean-?"

Edward put a finger to my lip with his crooked smiled on his face.

"Just wait……and see."

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Why did Edward say godfathers? What will the Cullen's do during Bella's date?

I actually got another chapter finished.......but I won't update until about next week. For the sake of suspense .LOL I know, I'm evil. BUT I don't want you to hate me so I'll update on one day of the weekends.

I'd also like to give great thanks Haley, my best friend for this chapter. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even be able to write this chapter.


	4. Chocolate Ravioli

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Hello my poppets! ANYWAY this is the new chapter. SOO sorry that I left my other chapter in a cliffy….hehe… Anyways, I was introduced to this new band, and they were FRIKIN' AWESOME! Why the hell did I not know them until now?!

Onto the next subject, I'm also sooooooooo sorry that I couldn't update.

HOWEVER I had gotten a few pumps of creative juices yesterday today and have written an extra long chapter!

DISCLAIMER

Me:Twilight is mine! *Evil laugh*

Edward: Do not be absurd!

Me:I am perfectly in my mind, excuse me!

Alice:Don't be kidding me!

Me: What? Is it bully midnight day?

Emmett: Just say the truth!

Me: Okay. *sob* I....do not own...Twilight. *sob*

Emmett: That's it. Tell the truth. That's what a good girl should do.*grins*

Me: *Glares so fierce that it peels the wall paper off*

Emmett: *gulp*

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The rest of the car ride was very quiet. Both Edward and I were deep in thought. What would the Cullens do to Mike? Pull a prank on him? Give him eternal embarrassment? KILL HIM???? Well I couldn't actually disagree with the last one, but still!!!! Edward was the one to break the silence first.

"Love, humor me. What are you thinking?"

"If it is right to be joyful at the thought that you might kill Mike."

He chuckled and had that crooked smile on his face.

"Well, I won't go that far. Don't worry."

Time flew by and then we arrived to La Bella, the restaurant Mike promised to meet me. Edward was shaking his head beside me with a small smile playing on his face.

"What a coincidence..."

"Yeah. I remember how the waitress flirted with you."

"You know that I didn't notice. You are the only one for me, love. You know that right?"

"Yup, I do. Do you think that she still remembers us?"

"Yes, she does. She is actually very excited to meet me again."

"Well, I guess she shall be very disappointed."

That moment, I could see Mike's surban coming in. I let out a groan, and Edward started rubbing my hand in circles.

"Don't worry, love. You know that we won't let him do anything to you."

As I walked out, I said,

"Just don't be too harsh on him. He stills have years to live."

I swear I could hear him chuckle as I closed the door.

Mike was leaning on his surban, fit in a very corny suit. He also had a bouquet of roses in his hand. However, I could see that the cold wind made him shiver.

"HEY BELLA!"

Mike ran toward me, looking a bit too ecstatic.

I briefly thought about just running away, calling for Edward to take me back, and hide me in his closet.

"He brought you here?"

WHY DOES HE FEEL THE NEED TO SNEER AT HIS NAME? WHY CAN'T HE EVEN SAY EDWARD'S NAME?? I fought the urge to say this but I do think that a muscle under my eye twitched.

"Yes, he did actually. Lets go inside though. I'm cold if you haven't noticed."

Mike actually had the nerve to try and cover my shoulders with his jacket. I barley dodged away from him.

"Mike....Put. Your. Hands. To. Yourself." I talked through my clenched teeth to a very disappointed Mike. I walked away and expected him to follow me when I heard an,

"OWW!"

I walked back to Mike to see what had happened. His shoe laces were tied together. I heard a tinkling laugh only I could hear. Being with vampires really increases your hearing! I was betting that someone with sparkling white skin, with an angel-like face was behind this.

"Mike, please get up."

Not wanting to look like a sissy, Mike instantly stood up, though you could hear him groan. Edward would be the one hurting the ground if he'd fall. (Though I knew he wouldn't with all his vampire senses. humph. Stupid show off vampire.)

We both headed to La Bella. Taking a seat next to the window, I started to look in the menu. Mike however, had the nerve to try to sit next to me. Pointing to the seat in front of me, I said,

"Mike, I'd really, really appreciate it if you'd sit by yourself."

Right on time, the waiter stood in front of us. Though his name tag said that he was only 20, he looked like he was at least over 30. While I was trying to not laugh, Mike started order. Mike too was straining his face, trying not to laugh which was too much for me. I burst out laughing grabbing my stomach that was starting to have cramps. I think that my face had gone purple too.

"Excuse... *laugh*....me....*laugh laugh*....for a *laugh*.... moment *laugh* please.. *laugh laugh*"

(This is so ME! I sometimes burst out laughing and my face goes red! Well... Yeah.... go back to reading the story. lol)

I hurried to the bathroom, my face turning red. However, when I went inside, I was up for a surprise. Alice was there lying on the couch making funny faces at me.

"Alice, what are you doing here?"

She jumped, being her perky self. Ignoring my question she said,

"You sure made a show out there didn't you? Even Emmett was surprised. We never knew that you'd have a certain melt down. Too much stress these days cause-"

"ALICE! Please answer me!!"

"Okay, okay... Well.... We're going to help you on your date! Isn't that fantastic?"

I was once again out of words. Ignoring me, Alice kept on talking.

"We have a few plans up our sleeves, and our first shall soon be in action. We're going to give him food that Emmet specially made. I know a waiter here, and he owes us a... favor."

I gave a slight shiver.. I remember the last time I tried one of Emmett's "master pieces" Lets just say that it involved a chicken pot pie, a lot of chocolate powder, and tons of chili sauce and red peppers. My tongue was never the same again..... I was about to go back to our table when I suddenly remembered.

"Oh yeah! Alice! Why did you tie Mike's shoelace?"

"Don't even ask. I was about to faint at how he looked! He had such horrible clothes! They were all past 5 seasons and were a fashion disgrace, making him look a lot fat. I was just doing my rights to the designer world. I've learned my lesson though. Mike can turn Gucci to some clothes from a flea shop sold Sunday. He should be banned from wearing any maker brands. Bleh."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."

Not knowing what to say in pure confusion, I pushed the door open and walked backed to my table. However, I felt my face burning while the people stared at me because of my laughing fit a few minutes ago.

I sat back down at my seat. I could see that Mike was very...anxious?

"Where were you?"

"Where did you think I'd be? The bathroom."

"Oh.. What did 'ya do?"

"Mike, what do you think I'd do at bathroom? Please just buzz of."

He must have caught my mood for he immediately turned quiet. I could now see the waiter brining our food. I guess it was now show time.

The waiter brought the dish in front of Mike.

"This dish is our special tomato and chocolate ravioli."

To tell you the truth, the smell was so strong that it mad me sick. The smell of both sweetness and tomato made my stomach heave, and I could see that Mike's face was slowly starting to turn green.

He steadily took his fork and knife and placed a piece of ravioli in his mouth. While he was having a difficult time chewing I asked the waiter what was inside the dish.

"Well, there is the best dark chocolate inside with sun dried tomatoes. The ravioli dough is also made out of flour that is powdered with chocolate powder. The filling for ravioli is also made out of tomato sauce with crumpled Oreos inside. Our 'special' chef of the day made it for today, and only today."

Mike's face soon turned a bit purple now. He wasn't even finished with his first bite, and I could see that he was straining to not make a face. I on the other hand, was trying to stop myself from giggling. I knew that the special chef was Emmett. Again, he did not fail to surprise me with this new chocolate ravioli. Gosh was I lucky to not be in Mike's shoes. Then again, if I'd be Mike, I'd back off when Edward asked kindly.

Mike finally swallowed his first bite. Though it was only one spoonful, he seemed to be withering in agony. He took a big gulp of ice water, but a cube of ice got stuck in his throat. He then coughed it up, which flew into the hat of a grandma near us. The ice cube was now beside the small birdie on her pink hat. It somewhat made the birdie look like a poor frozen snowman beside the cube of ice, instead of a heavenly dove that showed grace. That got me, and I started laughing. Hard. The grandma with the pink hat glared at us and let out a string of profanities. While I was still having a laughing fit, Mike pulled me to the cashier. He asked the employee,

"How much is the special dish for today?"

The employee checked our bill while glancing at me. I guess I looked a bit...bizarre in his eyes. The again who wouldn't? I was laughing by myself while my face was turning a boiling red. Not something a person with normal brain functions would do.

"Your bill is 105$."

"WHAT?"

Mike's eyes seemed to pop out of his head.

"We use the best chocolate that is imported right from Switzerland and Ghana. Our tomatoes are also sun dried and very fresh."

"But… but … but that's insane!"

Mike peeked at me, and said in a very small voice,

"Okay. I'll pay by card."

I guess Mike didn't want to look weak beside me. I rolled my eyes while I walked to the door to wait for Mike. Sometimes he could be so immature.

While I was waiting under a small grove, someone behind me whispered 'boo.' I gave a quiet scream and turned around. There, in front of my eyes, was Emmett with a wide grin and some flour on his cheek.

"Emmett! You surprised me!"

"That's the whole point!"

Though he was annoying, it was pretty nice to here his Emmett-ish replies after a few hours with Mike.

"How'd you like my recipe? I made it by myself. Rose said that it was pathetic, but you don't think so, do you?"

"It was interesting...."

I really didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"I know. O.o... Well now we'll move on to our next mission."

Leaving me with his last Emmett like grin, he gave me a military salute, saying,

"Mr. Hotty in service. You'll be having quite a ride with us tonight," and ran away.

I was again confused. Was there more? I groaned at the thought. I don't know how much my face could turn red again. I had also embarrassed myself in more than 30 people too. That was a new record for me.

I thought about what Emmett had said. Everyone was on this. And it was just going to get worse.

Crap. What have I gotten my self into? What I'd do to just melt down into a puddle right now and disappear until the next day…

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Rothflmao I love my chocolate ravioli. I especially thought it up!

I'd also want to give the honor of this story to...."drum roll please"..... a boy in my class!

He looks at least 10 years more than his age!!

I got the idea of the waiter from him. I just couldn't ignore it. That would be wasting! lol

I'm sorry for the cliff hanger but….

1. I'm out of creative juices.

2. I'm lazy. I have the idea but as I said, I'm lazy.

3. I love suspense!

I'll give you a hint about the next chapter though. It contains a broken car, Edward dressed up as a very, very, hot and handsome cop, and Mike with a string of profanities.

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	5. The Cops

Mike POV

I fumbled with the card that I had "secretly" taken out of my parent's wallet. This whole date was not exactly going on the way I wanted it to be. I had already embarrassed myself in front of Bella because of the whole Chocolate ravioli. I'm not sure who the chef is, but I bet I could cook better than him without my two hands for crying out loud! I tried to become calm, and slowly walked out of the door. I could see my beautiful Bella staring without focus at a tree. Oh god, I was boring her. The best way to treat a date! I once again sighed at how stupid I could be and quickly walked to where she was.

"Hey, Bella! Sorry the whole dinner didn't go the way I supposed it should. I'll make it up to you though. How about a movie? I've heard that "Vampires from Hell" is the most popular these days."

I could see that Bella was rolling her eyes when I mentioned the name of the movie.

"Are you going to throw up all over the place like you did when we saw a movie with Jake last time?"

I could feel my ears getting red. I never knew that I could embarrass myself in front of her that time. I never had a strong stomach, but I didn't want to look weak next to that Jacob kid. Stupid, unnaturally tall kid. He freaks me out whenever I catch a look at his lean but muscular body. Better not get on his bad side, or else someone might have to serve "freshly squeezed Mike juice". I ignored Bella's comment and quickly said,

"I'll take that as a yes!"

I noticed Bella quietly sighing, but I tried not to let that bother my bursting heart full of joy. "Vampires of Hell" was a horror movie, which would make me and Bella closer. I was sure that Bella would scream then hide in my wide arms when a scary scene would be shown on the screen. I'd cuddle her for a second or so, comfort her, then maybe catch a kiss or two….. I was almost 100% sure that this would work. It had worked on Jessica, who had actually jumped on my lap after watching a man get his head chopped off. I wonder how Bella would react…..

Bella POV

"Vampires from Hell"? Seriously? I couldn't help but snort at the title of the movie we were going to watch. The only vampires from Hell I could think of was Victoria, who was now dead. Edward could even tell me that he was an angel, and I'd believe him. Of course I could not help agree with myself that Alice sure was a devil from Hell when she tried to play Barbie with me.

I could see how Mike was full of hope that I would act like any other flirty girl *cough*Jessica*cough* who would make immediate flesh-to-flesh contact when a "scary scene" came out. Though Mike might not know, I've been through more intimidating situations than any character in a horror movie. I've been bitten by a male vampire, visited power hungry vampires, and even been in a vampire war. Not an everyday event in a normal girl's life, eh? Anyways, these events have made me immune to most intimidating situations. A.K.A – horror movies do not scare me. Not even a little. I could sit through one of those movies without even changing my expression while Mike would be screaming his head off.

I kept my face blank on our ride to the theater. Mike was so into his fantasies to notice me, when I saw a sudden shadow appear at the rear mirror attached to the car door. However, when I looked back I saw nothing.

'What was THAT?"

That precise moment, I saw the face of my soon to be step- brother, Jasper.

Now that was something that really scared me.

"Holy shit, Jas-"

I saw Mike giving me this weird look as he tried to slow down his car, which he had accelerated at the surprise of my scream.

"Jasssssssssss – min tea! Ha.. haha… Yeah, that's it. I just love jasmine tea. Why don't we grab a cup of some at the theater? Do you like jasmine tea? I just cannot live without out it! Go Jasmine tea!"

Oh my god. I just acted like Emmett after he tried some booze. Note to self. Never let a vampire take a drink of alcohol, especially Vodka. That's the lesson I learned from that incident.

"Oookay… 0.o"

I decided to ignore the weird looks that Mike was giving me and looked back at the mirror, trying to find another glimpse of Jasper. That moment I once again saw him, this time mouthing 'don't worry' with a quick wink. I could see the evil glimpse in his eye telling me that another prank would once again follow. Yay. When I thought that my life couldn't get any worse. I started worrying about what the Cullens were planning for Mike when I suddenly felt the car speed up.

"MIKE! What are you doing?" You're going too fast!"

He was almost as fast as Edward. Well ALMOST.

"That. Car. In. Front. Of. Us. Damn. Bastard. Gotta. Catch. Up. It. Cut. In. Line."

I could see Mike's face getting red, as he tried to spit out coherent words. What the hell was going on? Mike was trying to compete with a guy that just cut in line in front of him? Now this was a new low for him.

"Mike! You're acting childish. SLOW DOWN THE CAR! You're going to kill us both!"

"No."

As a girl who usually went 40 miles an hour on her truck, Mike's speed was making me a bit sick. His ride was different from Edward's because not only was Edward's car a smoother vehicle, I had the faith that Edward would not get in a car crash while Mike would obviously get into one and pretty much kill both of us at this rate. I started thinking about why Mike was suddenly acting so dangerously childish (like that's a difference) when I remembered seeing Jasper.

Oh.

He must have controlled Mike's emotions to become aggressive and competitive. Stupid, emotion, controlling, vampire! I made a mental note to make sure that I pay backed Jasper in some way. Maybe I could give him a makeover with Alice just to torture him. I bet Alice would love it.

While I was in deep thought, I could hear police alarms from far away. That sounds got closer.. and closer.. and closer.. until I could hear that it was just behind us. When I looked out the window, I could see that we were in an alley where there were no other cars. We were blocked by a high fence and by the look on Mike's face, I could see that Jasper decided to stop controlling his 'competitive' side. I could not see where this prank was going to. I had this strong belief that the Cullens, especially Edward, would not include me into this whole act. However, it seemed like both Mike and I would be headed to the Sheriff, who is… lets see…. MY DAD! I could just imagine how he would flip, then ask endless questions about why I was with Mike and not with Edward. I couldn't help but groan when I heard a familiar voice coming from a megaphone.

"You are surrounded. Both the driver and passenger will need to step out of the car and keep your hands out."

It faintly…sounded like… Edward! But… it was a bit more gruff and low… and there would be no way he'd be here right now. I must miss him so much that now I'm even hearing things.

"I said GET OUT!"

This voice sounded a bit like Rosalie's, but a bit too high and rough. What was the matter with me?

I turned to look at Mike who was whimpering in fear. It seemed that he hated the fact of meeting his parents at the police station as much as I did.

"B…Bella.. I'm really.. s..sorry. I think I've just ruined our…n..night."

"Just get out of the car Mike."

I stepped out of the car with my hands on the hood of Mike's car. That moment, I could see two cops walking to us. They both seemed to have bodies fit for models, the man tall and lean, and the women slim but glamorous. I never knew that such beautiful police men and women existed. However, as they walked closer, I could see that they had a reason to be so dazzling. Those two were Edward and Rosalie. Yup. EDWARD and ROSALIE. They did disguise themselves though, making them unrecognizable if you were not family. Edward had a hat covering his face with a set of black glasses. His hair seemed more of a black than his usual bronze and a bit more trimmed. He sure did look pretty sexy though with his black outfit. If I'd had my way, I'd make him wear that police outfit all the time. Rosalie too was a genuine beauty. Her hair was braided until her waist, and she also wore a hat and dark glasses. Her tight skirt was cut way above her knees, and her black high heels gleamed in the early moon light. Edward was first to talk with his "disguised" voice.

"Sir, I believe your car has way passed the speed limit about 5 minutes ago?"

Mike only nodded his head in shame. It seemed like he had no clue that the 'officer' in front of him was actually Edward.

"Then I believe that we shall have to take you to the nearby police station. But before that, my co-worker and I will have to investigate you for a quick moment, just in case you hold something … inappropriate. "

Edward shoved Mike to Rose, who dragged him to the cruise. As he walked right in front of me, touched his face, checking if it was really him. The smooth skin, coldness, hard texture…. Yup, it was Edward. As soon as Rose pushed Mike into the police car where he wouldn't see me, I pounced onto him.

"Edward!"

"Glad to see me?"

"I'm gladder seeing you right than finding a bottle of water after spending a year in a dessert."

"Hmmm.. Well that makes a good point, my love."

That moment, I could feel Edward's lips crush to mine. I was urgent to once again be in touch with him, and it seemed the same for him too. As my passion began to flood out me, I tugged at his shirt, and gently grazed his face with my hands. However, Edward being Edward pulled me off him, thinking I was going 'over board.'

"You better stop, or I'll have to keep you locked up like your other petty friend over there."

"I'd love to be locked if you're there with me."

As I joked around with Edward's words, I could hear the playful growl in his chest. I decided to give him another push, to send him off the cliff.

"Did I tell you that you look really… _sexy_?"

I could hear the string that attached Edward to his sanity snap. Edward hugged me in a rough embrace, while kissing me deeply. Sadly, me being me, I had to break the mood by acting too eager again. Edward seemed to be regaining his common sense and started prying me off, though I couldn't miss the huge smile on his face.

"You really shouldn't tempt me like that."

"Whyyyy not?"

"Bella, I have handcuffs and I'm not afraid to use them."

Edward and I both quietly shook with laughter at his little joke. Rosalie seemed to have enough with us and started acting like a mad donkey.

"Officer Virgin, if you don't get your ass here with that girl, I'll be sticking you into the cell too. Do you get me, officer Virgin?"

Oh my god. Edward's name. That was it. I started laughing like there was no tomorrow. In fact, I started laughing so hard that I fell, being the clumsy human that I am. Luckily, Edward caught me, like always, and swiftly put me back onto my feet.

"You really shouldn't laugh like that."

If Edward was a human, I was 10000000% sure that he would be red from head to toe.

"Of…off..officer VIRGIN?"

I couldn't help but get in another laughing fit.

"I'm going to kill Emmett for naming me like that."

I tried muffling my laughter.

"It's okay Eddie, the cute and innocent name fits you very, very well."

I'm not sure if it was my laughter, or if it was my tone that I only used to my 3 year old cousin, but I could hear Edward sighing.

"I think we agreed about not using cheesy nick names?"

"Nope (popping the p), you only agreed to yourself. I remember no such agreement."

I couldn't help but putting on a bright grin, and I could see that Edward too could not resist that crooked smirk I loved.

"You really should be getting ready now for the events ahead of you."

"WHAT?"

I couldn't believe it. There was still more left. Edward could see my expression because he soon started explaining.

"Alice hasn't made her grand appearance yet."

And I couldn't just help but groan as Edward guided me to the Police Cruise.

I understand if you hate me. I really do. I have nothing to say.

For the first few months, fan fiction must have hated me becuse they wouldn't let me login.

Then I was sick for a few months.

Then my computer broke down becuase of my stupid cousin.

Oh what the heck. I'm still sorry like crazy.

I'll understand if you curse me or anything like that.

To make it up to you, I made this chapter extraaaa long. Two times the length!

Hope ya'll forgive me, I'll be updating soon!


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